What Do Men Actually Feel About Sex Toys?


It can be challenging for men to divulge what it is that turns them on sexually. Perhaps it is a matter of personal discomfort or maybe they feel their innermost desires will hurt or offend their partner’s feelings so they keep them undisclosed to avoid the trouble. Whatever the case, men are pretty climax-oriented when it comes to sex and their willingness to play in bed strongly depends on their mood. However, recent studies showed some surprising results stating that men actually do want to have more fun than usual.

Sex lives can become boring after a certain period of time during a relationship so it is necessary to spice things up to make it pleasurable again. In the last decade, the popularity of adult toys has become more and more prominent. Couples are long past the whole “change the scenery from the bedroom to bathroom”, “raid the fridge with sensual foods such as whipped cream”, and “dip certain body parts with chocolate” gimmicks. Instead, they have turned to dissolving taboos, including those surrounding sex products and vibrators because technology has brought them to a whole new level. It is still an ongoing process but the change in opinions is noticeable.

How do men see sex toys?

Research into demographics and prevalence of sex toy use indicates that the effect it has in bed and how it affects a relationship may differ depending on the gender. A number of heterosexual men who have reported using vibrators and dildos with their female partners felt it cost them their sexual satisfaction compared to men who never used them. This is probably because they are focused more on their partner’s pleasure as opposed to their own. Their satisfaction was left unchanged plus they felt the toys themselves reflected poorly on their performance.

This is a common misconception some men have about toys – they fear their partners will become too reliant on them to achieve orgasm “robbing” them of that role. However, this is a more traditional outlook because there are men who have grown accustomed to toys and use them regularly (either on themselves, their partners or both). In fact, they score higher on orgasm function, libido, erectile function, and overall sexual satisfaction compared to men who don’t have the same habit or no contact with toys whatsoever. The best example are the gays and bisexuals because they are much more open-minded about their sexuality and thus allow themselves to find new ways to experience pleasure.

So what are the benefits?

Roughly 40% of surveyed men have tried or at least discussed about using extra help. Those who prefer the practice say that it lead their partners to more intense orgasms and strengthened their connection. They found it quite arousing to watch them respond to pleasure, they learned where to touch to produce stronger sensations and what is off the table, too. Most importantly, men who have tried the toys on themselves reported discovering new things about their bodies and pleasure centers.

In addition to relationship satisfaction, couples who are open to exploring novel ways of intimacy fare much better in maintaining passion and lust. We are all sexual creatures who love to delve deep into our appetites only we need a significant other to put those desires to practice. Thus, communication is vital to achieving higher levels of sexual confidence and maturity. In addition to activities, such as showering together, trying out new positions, and scheduling salacious date nights, adult toys can drastically improve your sex life altogether.

Bigger is not always better

Couple’s toys come in all sorts of sizes plus not all of them are phallus shaped, to begin with. For instance, a vibrating cock ring not only makes erections harder but sends delightful vibrations to the clitoris with each face-to-face thrust. There are even remote controlled pieces of clothing and toys, which can turn any public situation with your partner into a little private sexcapade. If you want a perfect cheeky gift while you are on your stag do weekend, flashlights and other male masturbates can do wonders not just for the bachelor but for the missus as well.

The effect on the relationship

It goes both ways depending on the nature of openness and communication skills between lovers. In fact, the more positively individuals feel about their interactions with their partners, the higher they rate their desire for one another and the pleasure they can derive from that bond. Positive communication – in the context of adult toys – means partners are more open to talking about their concerns if they feel threatened or confused. The key is to validate your man and reassure him that the toy is not a comment on his sexual performance, potency, and desirability.

If, on the other hand, that communication has negative connotations, it is highly likely that there will be judgment involved, feelings of shame, and the need to withdraw on both sides. Remember, sexuality should always be about comfort and freedom of exploration. The desire to use vibrators and dildos can at least instigate an open conversation about sexual interests in general and considering that most women do not orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, men would do well to listen.


Incorporating toys not only effectively boosts both relationship and sexual satisfaction but sets boundaries and inclinations among partners. Men tend to have one thing on their mind when it comes to sex (you can’t have blood pumping in the heart and the penis at the same time) but love is a two-way street. If that street requires utilizing adult toys, it’s best to make the most out of that situation for the sake of that love, right?

The purpose of sexuality is to experience all forms of carnal pleasures a body can register. In all candor, men are shier than women when it comes to revealing such desires but the goal here is to dispell any myths and subdue the resistance. If sex toys are a way to go, help yourself and your partner by purchasing one. Be honest about your body’s needs, guys. The only person standing in the way of your desires is yourself.


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